tam da şu an şimdi böyleyim

To be wholly or in part out of place everywhere, not to be completely anywhere (that is without qualifications and caveats, without some aspects of oneself sticking out and seen by others as looking odd) may be an upsetting, sometimes annoying experience. There is always something to explain, to apologize for, to hide or on the contrary yo boldly display, to negotiate, to bid for and to bargain for; there are differences to be smoothed or glossed over, to be on the contrary made more salient and legible.
bauman-identity p.13