i am not claiming that i am doing autoethnography, i am exploring the possibilities of doing it

try to look into the ways, means, tools of autoethnography that can be used, appropriated to what extent they can work together. so, it is an experiment, a process where the tools of fieldwork is applied, the limits of fieldwork is questioned, the excess (bodily) knowledge fieldwork produces is looked at. the juncture where the ethnographer`s work approaches to the everyday routines of the new comer. What makes this project autoethnography, apart from its being derived from my own experiences? A collection of anecdotes, the little pseudo ethnographic stories for the ones who have not been here. A collection of first hand experiences,travel stories the amazements turned into, becomes the moving points, origins developing into visual representations, expressions, into visual language. Those amazements occur at an unexpected encounter, that marks a crack on my perception, my common sense. A breaking point that changes the picture slowly, every time. This also changes my relation with that reality, with every tiny step, addition to that experience, my new experiences is being refashioned. My perception is changed. So does the practice illustrate this, represent this what has it got anything to do with fieldwork? Collection of impressions, notes, stories, observations that help you to perform better in that new reality next time, as a newcomer. Next time you are locked in the flat you would know calling for lockersmith is not an option, if you are not the landlady of the flat. You would know, how you would ask for things. So you inhabit that local knowledge, you grow into that language. and it becomes the field, your data, later to be uttered, interpreted not with the language of ethnographic writing, but with the language of art practice. And the work the work comes from there. The practice is-does ….what is the verb-noun here? What is the function of practice? So far I have uttered some alternatives: illustrate? Made –up artifacts that embodies that experience Witness to the process, or maybe documentation of that process. documentation of some sort From the very outset, how does a work is conceived, developed, and put into full fruition, finished? Practice is the ground where the experience is unfolded-translated into the artistic language And translation relies on the meaning and then the feeling of a text I reckon. Translation of the experience into practice. I use common sense, clichés, sterotypes, images, objects that can be easily associated with, and tear their familiarity down , rely on this abbreviated, symbolic language that is being fed by our basic and sometimes wrong ideas about ourselves, and use that clichés to speak about a personal experience. To give the observer, the audience something she can easily associate, and then strip him-her bare off this knowledge, drag those taken for granted perception, push them further into unfamiliar guises. to kind of undo them.

she lowered her voice

as we were talking about not the very best parts of the aspects we associate with britishness. feeling of guilt the uncontrollable outrage, despair felt due to this inability to understand, grasp this new set of attitutes, behaviours, habits that is mis-directed to the people, to locals. because it is not easy to accept the failure of knowing, understanding, the (sometimes) unbreachable gap between the strange and familiar and the feeling that you are always going to be a stranger

your language can be a home to a total stranger

the previous day of our conversation with her, I was speaking to a friend over phone. she told her grand-grand mother and grand mother speaking turkish, when they are speaking something secret. then tried to remember some words, as long as she remembers. as her grand-grand mother died when she was young, she was not able to listen to that language and forgot most what she knew. "gel burada" "tamam" and she said something else, but I guess it was greek. i remember my grandmother calling me something like `ezgoritdeme` and give me slime kisses on the cheek. i later on learned that it means, `ill sacrifice myself for you` in kurdish than she told me that her grandmother used to cook such nice kadayifi, and she couldnt have any kadayif as delicious as hers after her death. `when you were speaking i felt home` she said the conversation prior to this story was about how the body changes, its rhtyhm and habits transforms, the climate of the body slowly adjusting to the climate, light, winds, temparature of its new habitat. i grow dandrufs, my skin gets lighter, whiter, paler due to lack of sunlight and my skin gets dry and the lack of sunlight and the mood swings what they call the winter blues

şey-eşya

Gathering and assembly, by an ancient word of our language, is called “thing”. our thinking has of course long been accustomed to understate the nature of the thing. the consequence, in the course of western thought, has been that the thing is represented as an unknown X to which perceptible properties are attached. heidegger, building,dwelling, thinking, s. 151

gesso-akrilik-calico

ve zımpara

Wir leben in einem Zeitalter der Überarbeitung und der Unterbildung, in einem Zeitalter, in dem die Menschen so fleissig sind, dass sie verdummen. Oscar Wilde alıntı için d.s.e teşekkürler

richard wentworth